Us In Waiting

Waiting…we all wait.  We wait in line at the movies, wait in line at the grocery store, wait in traffic, wait for our company to show up, wait for the brownies to be done baking (by the way totally enjoying a brownie right now as I write) or for the babysitter to come over.  We wait to hear about the new job we interviewed for, we wait to get a new job because we are unhappy at our current job, we wait for God to bless us with a significant other, we wait as we hope to conceive a child, we wait on hearing test results, we wait as we pray for our children to know the love of Jesus, we wait because God made a promise to us and it hasn’t come to pass yet.  We wait and wait and wait.

Isaiah 30:18
For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.

I will admit, the scripture above says “blessed” are those who wait, but waiting doesn’t really feel like a blessing sometimes.  For the past two months I have been waiting… When I had the miscarriage the miscarriage never fully completed by the time I left the hospital, so I had to get a shot that helped get any remaining tissue out of my body.  The plan was for me to go get blood work twice the first week to make sure my pregnancy levels were dropping, then as long as they were dropping as hoped, I would only have to go back once a week until my levels hit zero.  After the first blood test, the doctor thought that I would only have to go back a few more times (like two weeks at most) because my levels were dropping so fast.  But then they stopped dropping as fast to the point that to this day (9 weeks later my levels have not hit zero). Week after week I have prayed (and others have joined me) that my levels would hit zero, and week after week I get the phone call from my now favorite nurse, Linda, saying “I can’t believe it!  They haven’t hit zero yet….next week for sure.”  Today on the phone the nurse says “I feel like I know you so well and I don’t even know what you look like, but I feel like I need to send you a Christmas card.”  True story.

It was about 5 weeks ago that I began to realize that maybe praying that my pregnancy levels hit zero wasn’t exactly the right prayer.  Not that it is necessarily wrong to pray for that, but if I want to pray Kingdom minded, maybe that wasn’t the Kingdom minded type of prayer.  Maybe the Kingdom minded prayer is “okay God, I still want my levels to hit zero, but what do you want to do in my time of waiting?”  Over the past few weeks, although it can still be frustrating at times, I have seen God put a few opportunities in front of me.  One of those opportunities was at the clinic where they take my blood.  I was sitting waiting, and I had to text my boss to let her know I was going to be late because the clinic opened late.  The lady sitting next to me was REALLY into what I was texting and who I was texting (like to the point that she asked, and come on how many of you have had a stranger sit next to you in an empty clinic and ask you who you were texting!?).  That led to a conversation about what I do for work, and asking me if I have ever been over seas doing mission work, which of course lead me to tell her about my trip to Rwanda and what we did and saw there (which lead to me pulling my pictures up on Facebook to show her).  She was generally moved by the people’s stories.  I’ll probably never fully know the full reason that I am waiting so long for my levels to hit zero… but I do know that as I wait I will continue to say “God, while I wait, what do you want to do in my time of waiting?”  As I said above, waiting doesn’t seem like a blessing a lot of the time.  But our God has our best interests at heart, all of ours.  He knows far more than we EVER will, and sometimes will have us wait to have us be the hands and feet in someone else’s life or maybe to help us grow more maturely for what path He has set out for us next.

 What are you waiting for?  What have you been fervently praying for for days, months, years, and it hasn’t seemed like God has heard you or answered your prayers… I assure you He is listening and He has not forgotten you, but in your time of waiting ask God “what do you want me to do in my waiting?”

Psalms 27:13-14   
I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!